“Rediscover and Reignite: Beginning to Embrace Your Authentic Self
What passions have you hidden and why? It’s time to dust some of them off and try again!
Have you ever heard the saying ‘death by a thousand cuts’ before? For me, it’s this idea that we give parts of ourselves away, little by little, until there is no more of what once was. We usually don’t even notice how much we have lost until something forces us to look. Recently, I’ve been forced to look… and it wasn’t pretty.
Explaining the Feeling
These last few weeks I have been reflecting on where my life is currently at. Physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually, in my career… everything. I realized how many of my passions I had hidden away in pursuit of something else. The best way I can describe it is through the movie “The Notebook”. There is a scene where Allie says to her new fiance Lon, ‘I don’t paint anymore.’ and he responds with ‘So paint!’ and she says ‘I will.’
On the surface, it seems like such a simple exchange but it is so much more than that. Allie is realizing that she is living a life that has caused her to put her passions on a shelf. No one asked her to stop painting or flat-out told her she couldn’t do it anymore but rather it was death by a thousand cuts. A snide comment about her artwork. An impassioned response to her excitedly sharing her newest paintings. A general disinterest in something meaningful to her. As she saw that her surroundings didn’t support or even care about her passions she decided to hide them away, little by little, to appease the people around her. How sad.
Reflection
So here’s what my question has been recently. What passions of mine have I hidden away to make other people happy? What’s something I get excited about that I haven’t explored for fear of judgment or not being accepted? And here’s the hardest one of all… Why do I want to be involved with people or places that will only accept me if I hide parts of myself? I would encourage you to sit with those thoughts for a little while…
In my reflection, I’ve rediscovered activities and hobbies that I love. Things like being athletic, reading, and being creative. I forgot how much it energizes me to just go run fast for a while and push physical limits. I forgot how lost I can get in a good book. I forgot how creative my mind is and how I can make something out of what looks like nothing. It’s been a huge boost to my physical and mental health to pull these parts of me back off the shelf, dust them off, and get them working again. I’m sure before I know it I’ll be running, reading, and creating more than ever before!
Action
A big thing that’s helped me stay consistent is being non-judgmental with myself. The only goal is to show up. I can run one mile or five. I can read one paragraph or the whole book! I can think up one little project or redecorate the whole house. All I have to do is show up for myself.
I hope you do too! Let’s Grow!